


It Wasn't Juice

by Graymalkin



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Desperation, Gen, Missing Scene, Pee, Urination, female desperation, female urination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 02:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2674706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graymalkin/pseuds/Graymalkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remember that time Usagi got accidentally drunk at the formal party?  These are the scenes we didn't see.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Wasn't Juice

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place during Episode #108 of _Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon_ , "Usagi's Dance Is the Waltz." In the American dub this was run as Episode #101, "Everything's Coming up Roses."

It was evening in the Land of the Rising Sun. The sky's cerulean blue had deepened into an azure, the brightest stars had begun to show themselves, and the sunshine had faded to an auroral glow on the western horizon. It faintly illuminated an elegant mansion whose builders were clearly looking west. Its mansard roofs, square columns, and Palladian arches, all turned to shades of blue in the fading light, bore the unmistakable impression of European design, making it something of an anomaly in its place within the Kanagawa Preficture. 

Inside, teenage friends Aino Minako, Hino Rei, and Kino Makoto, dressed in their finest formal clothes, were enjoying an old-fashioned European-style ball. They, along with Tsukino Usagi, Mizuno Ami, and Chiba Mamoru, were guests of Bernard Edwards, an English gentleman who often invited young exchange students to his mansion and held parties for them. Mamoru's European friends from college had suggested that Edwards invite him, and he had extended his invitation to Mamoru's friends (secretly Earth's guardians, the Sailor Senshi). Naturally, they leapt at the chance. 

Minako looked breathtaking yet innocent in her lavender outfit, which sported a layered gown with a diagonal hemline, and the absurdly large red bow she often wore in her gorgeous blonde hair. Less innocent in appearance was the dark-haired, dark-eyed beauty Rei. She was wearing the least clothing of the trio, but still looked quite tasteful. She had a red body-hugging blouse and skirt. The latter was short and the former had a square neckline. Her look was topped off by a pair of white gloves and a gold choker necklace with an adorable heart-shaped locket. Makoto's color was dusty rose, and her gown and hairstyle made her look like a Greek goddess. Her statuesque figure contributed to this image.

"Please direct your attention to the stage," Edwards said to his guests, and he introduced the two young ladies who would be providing the entertainment. Minako, Rei, and Makoto's eyes lit up at the mention of the names of their older friends Ten'ou Haruka and Kaiou Michiru. They watched and listened, spellbound, as Haruka and Michiru began to play the minuet from Boccherini's String Quintet in E arranged for piano and violin. 

But they were soon distracted when Ami appeared, seemingly from nowhere. The lovely shrinking violet was dressed all in shades of green (and in the most modest outfit of the group). "Everyone, listen," she whispered. Having captured their attention, she said in an even lower whisper, "Usagi's gotten a little intoxicated, and she's resting on the balcony."

The other girls looked at her in disbelief. They had been gaping at the buffet spread while Usagi had made a scene and Edwards had asked Mamoru to escort her to the balcony to recuperate.

"Usagi's drunk!?!" Makoto said.

"Not so loud!" Ami said. "Mamoru's with her. She looks pretty bad."

Meanwhile, Usagi's arms were hanging limply over the stone railing of a west-facing balcony while she produced a continuous, barely audible moan. She was dressed in a pink sleeveless gown with a giant magenta bow on the back of the waist, complemented with pink and white earrings. Her absurdly long hair was done up in her trademark "odango atama" hairdo, and the right "tentacle" of her hair was draped over the railing along with her arms. She would have looked quite fetching if she didn't appear deathly ill.

Mamoru was with her, dressed in a smart-looking tuxedo (which suited him well). Concerned for the girl's health, was trying to talk her through her intoxication. It wasn't helping much, mainly because Usagi was ignoring him almost completely. She interrupted her moaning only to voice confused or half-formed thoughts.

"You only drank one glass of cocktail...right?" Mamoru said.

"I drank one glass of...queasy," Usagi replied. Her voice, generally loud and chirpy, was now alternating between slurred half-shouting and sleepy whispering.

"So I'm sure you'll recover quickly," Mamoru continued.

"Why?" Usagi asked.

"Because your body will process it quickly?"

"Why?"

"Because you only drank one glass."

"Why?"

"I'm still not sure why," he muttered.

"It's happened!" Usagi said, raising herself up from the railing with a sudden burst of energy.

"What's happened?" Mamoru asked. He was often puzzled by Usagi when she was sober, and she was even more perplexing when drunk.

"My body has processed it!"

Mamoru raised an eyebrow quizzically. "What makes you say that?"

"Because I have to pee!" she said triumphantly.

"I don't think it works that way," Mamoru said, after a moment of speechlessness.

At that, Usagi collapsed over the railing again. Mamoru quickly put his arm around her midsection, afraid she would fall over the side, but her knees had given out quickly enough that her upper body fell onto the railing instead of over it.

"I feel like I'm going to die!" she whined. "I need you to take me to the potty."

"I can't go in there with you."

"Why not!?!" Usagi demanded.

"Because it's the ladies' room."

"Oh, yeah! I forgot you're a boy."

Mamoru sighed. "Sometimes I wonder about our relationship, Usako."

"Sometimes I wonder about birds," Usagi replied. "Why do they fly north if they're just gonna have to fly south again in the winter? Why don't they stay south? Stupid birds." Then she seemed to forget about the subject, and all others, and go back to moaning as if she were at death's door. It was like this that the other girls found her when they passed through the giant red curtains out onto the balcony. Rei, Minako, and Makoto were shocked to see her in such a state, while Mamoru and Ami merely looked concerned. 

"Here, have some water," Ami nervously said, offering Usagi a glass. The drunken girl seemed to ignore her.

"How did she drink booze?" was Makoto's entirely valid question.

"I didn't drink booze at all," Usagi said. "I drank some juice like this..." She raised herself up and mimed drinking juice. She looked like she was recovering until she rapidly collapsed back over the railing and made a groaning, gagging sound. Everyone else's eyes got wide with horror.

"Usagi, wait a minute!" Rei yelled.

"Usagi, pull yourself together!" Minako yelled.

Usagi didn't make any kind of a response.

"She needs to walk around," Rei said. "Then she'll burn up the alcohol quicker."

"No," Minako countered. "She needs to rest."

"How did she drink booze?" Makoto asked again.

"Did it look like they had coffee down there?" Mamoru asked.

"Actually, caffeine doesn't alleviate intoxication," Ami said. "The only thing that does that is the alcohol's eventual oxidation into..."

"How do you know that?" Rei demanded.

Ami blushed. "It's just something I've read...in a biology...book of some sort..." she explained nervously.

Usagi finally acted like she was conscious. "I can speak English fluently!" she announced, raising herself up from the balcony and looking at her friends, who were startled by her non sequitur. Then she squinted and looked puzzled.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Minako, your best friend!" Minako exclaimed.

"Oh! Sorry. I didn't recognize you without your cat."

"She's drunk all right," Minako remarked.

"I didn't think she could get any stupider, but alcohol made it possible," Rei said, rolling her eyes.

"Don't be so mean," Ami said.

"Does she even know where she is?" Makoto wondered.

"The outskirts of Tokyo!" Usagi said loudly. Then she softly added, "...Right?" She looked around.

"Yes," Mamoru said. "We're at Edwards' party."

"I know that! Hey, those bushes look like trees," she observed, looking at the conifers beneath the balcony, which were beautifully illuminated from beneath. "Or are they trees that look like bushes?"

"The view certainly is beautiful," Makoto remarked.

"So beautiful," Usagi concurred. "Also, I have to pee." Each person around her showed a look of embarrassment, annoyance, or both.

"I'll show her where the ladies' room is," Rei said with a sigh. "And I'll look for some coffee in case it affects Usagi differently than Ami."

"I only read it in a book," Ami insisted again.

Rei led her intoxicated friend to the women's restroom, keeping her arm around her so she could keep her balance. Rei got redder and redder with each person who glanced at them. She was embarrassed to be seen with Usagi. She was afraid people noticed her friend was drunk, but also afraid they looked like a same-sex couple to the people who didn't notice Usagi was drunk. Usagi, on the other hand, was totally oblivious and unconcerned. 

Once inside the bathroom, Usagi jerked her body out of Rei's reach.

"I can stand on my own, thank you. Now get out of here, I have to use the toilet."

"Are you sure you're okay on your own?"

"Yes! Now shoo!" Usagi waved her hand.

"I think I should stay in her, in case you pass out or..."

"Shoo, shoo, you pervert!" Usagi continued, physically pushing Rei towards the door. The raven-haired girl sighed and walked out into the hall. She found a place to stand that was out of people's way and waited for Usagi.

Only a few seconds passed before the tipsy blonde burst out of the bathroom door and came looking for her.

"Is something..." Rei began to ask.

"I can't go in this dress! I need somebody to lift the gown part out of the way so I can sit on the potty," Usagi pleaded. A drop of sweat appeared on Rei's face.

"Are you sure you can't just..." Usagi took her arm in hand and continued her urgent request. "Come on! I need you! Come on! Come on!" She physically pulled Rei, who eventually relented in order to keep her arm from being dislocated.

"I'm so dizzy!" Usagi remarked once they were inside the white-tiled room. "The room is spinning! It looks like the squat toilets are on the wall!"

"Those are urinals," Rei said, her eyes narrow with annoyance. "You just pulled me into the men's room."

"Oh! I guess I'm not dizzy," Usagi said. She went to exit the room and promptly walked into the wall next to the door. "I'm dizzy _and_ there are squat toilets on the wall!" she announced. "I figured it out!" Rei was hanging her head and softly rocking it from side to side in a gesture of utter disbelief.

Once inside the correct restroom, Usagi forcibly brought Rei to one of the stalls and closed them in together. The beautiful soldier of love and justice stood in front of a Western-style toilet while her very displeased companion knelt down, grabbed the hems of her pink gown and white underskirt in two places, and lifted the layers of clothes up to facilitate the wearer's relief. Then she lowered them some, because she wasn't that crazy about seeing her friend's panty-clad pelvic region. Usagi's poorly-guided hands fumbled around the lifted cloth Rei's hands, finally gripping her white cotton underwear and lowering it to knee level. Then Rei moved with her as she shakily sat down, keeping the back of the dress from getting pinned under Usagi's plump buttocks (the only part of her body that her diet of junk food seemed to affect) or wadded together in the space between the seated girl and the toilet tank. 

Then they both had to reverse the process, since Usagi's distorted spatial perception had caused her bottom to miss the hole and one of her cheeks to miss the entire seat, and so she was careening on the edge of the toilet. With the inebriated girl finally settled in place, Rei waited for her task to be over. And then she waited. And she waited. And waited.

"Well?" she finally said, breaking the silence.

"Well what?" Usagi asked innocently.

"Well go!"

"Don't rush me!" Rei stopped bothering her and resumed waiting. After another great length of silence, she spoke again.

"Well!?!"

"I can't go!"

"Why not?!?"

"I can't focus. I feel too strange."

"You can't be too drunk to pee! It's impossible!"

"I'm not drunk. I'm sick. I think I drank too much juice."

"Yeah, that's likely. Just go...and quickly, so we can get out of here."

"I can't! It's not coming."

"Well make it come!" Rei said with ever-increasing anger.

"I can't concentrate."

"You don't have to concentrate to pee! You just relax and it happens!" Rei said, feeling stupid for having to talk about urination like this.

"Uh-uh," Usagi disagreed.

Rei continued her argument, more angry than embarrassed. "You have to concentrate to _not_ pee. That's what potty training is!"

"Just shut up, okay! Loudness interferes with peeing."

Rei stopped talking, and Usagi relaxed like Rei had suggested. Nothing happened at first. Usagi just sat there with her eyes closed and her face twisted into an odd expression while Rei looked at the dress in her hands and fumed with anger. She began to think out loud, as she often did. "I can't believe this is how I'm spending the party at Edwards' mansion. I was looking forward to this so much...the picturesque mansion, the graceful melody of the waltz...but now I'm miserable."

"Come on, Rei," Usagi said. "You've been through worse than this."

"You're right," Rei said, putting her current misfortune into perspective. "I should look on the bright side. At least I don't have to help a drunken boy go pee," she said after a moment's musing. "Why did I say that out loud?" she wondered out loud, humiliated at her own words. "Why did I even think that in the first place?" Her dark eyes went back on Usagi. "You must be leaking on me."

"I am!?!" Usagi screamed in shock, looking around.

"I mean your habits are rubbing off on me. I'm saying stuff that's as off-the-wall as what you say."

"Rei!" Usagi yelled.

"What?"

"Never say 'You're leaking on me' to someone who's on her period!'"

"I...will remember that rule, Usagi." Rei wished she could slam her head against a wall without letting go of her friend's dress. Then, finally, she heard a faint tinkling sound.

She looked at Usagi, eyes bright. "Are you...?"

"Yes!" she happily reported.

The sound stopped, then started again. After a couple more tentative trickles had begun and ended, Usagi was finally able to summon a continuous flow. A slender rivulet the same bright yellow as her hair emanated from her womanly regions. Her mouth broadened into a smile, and her big blue eyes narrowed into cute little slits.

"Ah yes!" she said cheerfully once it was clear that this wasn't another false start. "Peeing is good!"

At first, her emanation drizzled straight down, hitting the water in the bowl with a soft tinkle. Then, as the force behind it increased, it arced forward. The gentle tinkling sound became a bassy rushing in the bowl, then a showerhead-like hiss as it came forward enough to hit porcelain instead of water. Usagi made a quiet moan like before, only one that conveyed a much different emotional state.

Then the hiss became a drizzle, the drizzle became a tinkle, and Usagi was finished relieving her bladder. She stood up and returned her panties to their hiding place under her gown. Rei cringed at the realization that Usagi hadn't wiped first, but she didn't say anything. She just released the dress, and Usagi flushed.

"Thank you!" Usagi said sincerely, and hugged the girl who had held her gown out of the way. Her clumsiness caused their intertwined bodies to hit the wall of the stall, vibrating loudly. Rei opened the stall door and walked out. Usagi decided she needed to sit down for a while, and chose the closed toilet for a seat. This annoyed Rei, who planned to make use of the ladies' room while she was there, but had wanted to do so in peace. Oh well.

She discreetly moved a couple stalls over, then quietly shut the door behind her as she stepped into one. But Usagi's senses weren't dull enough for her not to notice.

"Do you want me to hold your gown up to make us even?"

"We'll never be even," Rei said dryly, not even calling attention to the fact that she was wearing a short, tight skirt. "You just sit there and relax, and pretend I'm not here. And by that I mean, I don't want to hear you say one word about what I'm doing."

"Sure thing!"

Rei pulled her skirt down until it covered her knees down to her ankles, and moved her panties halfway down her thighs. She felt an uncomfortable kinship with Usagi when she experienced some difficulty in her task. Knowing she would be heard by someone she knew made her bladder reluctant to loosen up.

But she closed her eyes, took deep breaths, relaxed the many muscles of her body, and thought about the fact that she had witnesses Usagi doing more humiliating things than anyone would ever catch her doing. Before long, the water pressure inside her was decreasing.

After only a few seconds of drizzling, she upped her output to full blast. A stream shot out violently at the porcelain wall beneath her, generating an intense hissing sound. Rei sighed at the loss of uncomfortable pressure, but didn't make it as obvious as her golden-haired friend had.

Hearing the other girl's impressive output from a few stalls over, Usagi began to make an "ah" sound that could have begun a word, but was cut off.

"Not one word," Rei said over the sound of her waterfall. Before she reached for the toilet paper, 45 seconds had passed and the water beneath her had become the color of a runny egg yolk. She banished it to the sewer with the touch of the silver handle, put her clothes in place, and walked out of the stall. Still warm with the satisfaction of relieving herself of a liquid burden she had carried for too long, she said to Usagi, with a grin, "Between you and me, that was a piss that really needed to be taken."

When she cleared the opened door of the stall, she faced the blue-haired visage of her friend Ami, who was standing in front of the open stall Usagi was resting in. Rei's eyes bugged out and she froze in place. She felt like chastising herself for having allowed herself to loosen up so much in the presence of the uninhibited Usagi, and was humiliated to have this witnessed by the most level-headed person in her group of friends.

"When you didn't come back I got worried, so I came to check on you," Ami explained, blushing a little. 

Rei finally broke out of her paralysis, managing to speak. "I'm going to wash my hands now." Usagi stifled a giggle. She looked more composed and cognizant now, much to Rei's relief. Only moments ago she would have asked if Ami was going to do number one or number two.

It seems the effects of the alcohol have totally subsided," Ami observed as her friends washed their hands.

"I think her stupidity is back down to background level," Rei concurred. Ami gave a nervous smile.

Then the three girls went to join the others. The past few minutes had been unpleasant, but they had a fine evening ahead of them. Unless one of those ubiquitous Daimons showed up to ruin it.


End file.
